My heart is warmed and grateful you stopped by! You may be wondering, "What can Rachelle possibly know about heartache?" May you find something that speaks your answer in the short note below...
I remember being somewhere near 10 years old crying myself to sleep each night; there was a deep pit of DESPAIR that had already been BURIED deep beneath the surface of my soul. Though not religious, someone had given me a Bible. Secretly I'd read bits of that confusing Book, trying to remember pieces of it, just before "praying" to a God I had NOT been taught about to "use me to help his hurting children someday." Quite an awareness for a young child! Low and behold, the Universe heard my plea.
By the tender age of 10, I was no stranger to more moves than I could count on two hands, enough school changes to match my grade level, lost friends a plenty, sexual abuse, abandonment, racism, bullying, belittling, and insanely scary nightmares. Coping and survival was found in keeping people happy...and food!
My breaking point came in 2016 when my phone rang early one morning informing me that my (estranged) father had died by suicide and that I was going to need to identify then release his body. The heavy burden of my past coupled with this new blow was more than I could bear. For two weeks I sat in a dark and dingy fog, unable to make sentences nor move... though, not until my husband and children had arrived safely at work and school for the day. I was, after all, a master at keeping up appearances and people-pleasing.
Never could I have imagined that my deepest pit of despair could eventually be the catalyst to a sunshine in my soul more vibrant than all of my imagination; a rediscovery of joy. That foggy mind had me paralyzed with fear that I might be low enough to take my own life by suicide, which would have left my children motherless. Therein lay my final straw! I knew someone who taught Grief Recovery and, in fear for my life, mustered up my courage to call.
That was the exact moment my soul lurched toward sureness with an intensity that I could not ignore. My personal 8-week class was difficult! Painful even. Like you'd expect serious healing to be, I guess. On the other side of that short-lived pain however, was a light I had never experienced before--in my eyes, in my step, in my heart, in my spirit. For nearly a year I kept going back to work for my personal recovery, one baby step at a time.
All those little steps led me to a solid march into a Grief Recovery Method training (7 times so far!) so I could officially pay forward what I'd personally known and experienced to give life to others who might be hurting like I once was. I FELT BETTER in the deepest parts of my soul and this time I knew it was FOR GOOD. Who doesn't want/need that!
Before this life as an International Advanced Grief Recovery Method Specialist, I married at 19, served 7 years beside my husband in the US Air Force as a surgical ICU nurse, now a disabled veteran, then became a full-time wife and mom. My days are spent serving my family, students, and volunteering for the SCV LASD VIDA Program, as well as spreading helpful tips and actions for emotional recovery while growing emotional intelligence through professional Critical Incident Stress Management. Oh, and those tools I learned and now teach? Yeah, I still use them. Every. Single. Day!
Of interest:
•Grief Recovery Method, 2 1/2-day or 90-day
•Helping Children with Loss, 4-sessions
